Online Dating Profile Deal-breakers

Kids, you really only have one chance to make a first impression. In the world of online dating, that first impression is your profile page. Everything from the pictures you include, to what you choose to write, to most importantly how you choose to write it can make a significant impact on how you are perceived.

One of the most annoying things I read is what I call the inappropriate use of etcetera. This is using "etc." to end a list of things that have absolutely nothing in common. For example, one profile I read today had:

"I like reading, history, theatre, movies, kids, etc."

WHAT THE HELL DOES "ETC." MEAN IN THIS CASE? I could conceivably add "rattlesnakes, skydiving, polka music, etc." and it would fit just as well. How am I supposed to know what else you like unless you tell me? I never knew a thing about you until I started reading your profile.

Second most annoying thing has to do with profile pictures. WHAT is the deal with taking a picture of yourself in a mirror? Do people have no other pictures of them? Could they not find a friend to take a picture of them? I don't know why this one bothers me so much, but it seems like you're just a slacker.

That said, apparently one of the big annoyances for women searching men's profiles (because a rather large number of women's profiles say it's annoying) is men have a habit of posting shirtless self-pictures in their profiles. I will certainly say that I have never done so, but was wondering what exactly most guys are thinking by doing so? Perhaps they are so out of touch with what women like, that they believe that women want exactly what men want (and what man wouldn't want to see a shirtless picture in a girl's profile?).

There are plenty more deal-breakers for me, but I think I'm just abnormally picky. No, I KNOW I'm abnormally picky. But that's my own problem.

Online Dating Is Hopeless

Kids, online dating isn't all its cracked up to be. It seems like the perfect solution to the problem you never knew you had. College was a great place to meet people. There was a seemingly infinite number of new people you could get to know, and plenty of those found the love of their life. I didn't. (Well, I thought I did at the time, but that's another story for another day, kids.)

Then you enter the real world. I work in an office with the same people every day. I keep myself very busy outside of work, but ultimately don't find myself in too many positions where I meet a lot of new and different people (at least new and different single people). So on the advice of some close friends, I've tried out the online dating world. Two of my closest friends met on match.com, so I want to believe that it really does work!

So I've tried it in good faith. I have plenty of separate stories about the various aspects of online dating and what's wrong with it, but it's not all bad. There are three types of people who use online dating:

1) "Looking for Someone" Honest-to-goodness normal people, who are looking with an open mind for a relationship. Willing to meet new people and knows that some won't be perfect, and that's OK.

2) "Looking for Mr./Mrs. Right" These are the ones who are looking for that one perfect person, and have this perfect vision of who that person is. Odds are 1 in a million that you'll find them online... go buy a lottery ticket. Profile keywords: "Must be (insert superficial feature here)."

3) "Hey, look at me!" These are the people who use online dating because they need an endless supply of dates to satisfy their own self worth. Profile keywords: "I just got out of a long-term relationship...", "I'm hot, you should be too." Profile reads like a children's book (more pictures than words).

I want nothing to do with #3 type. As far as I'm concerned, there are probably plenty of Type-3 guys out there for the Type-3 ladies to find. One of my biggest problems I think is that I really started out as somewhere between Type-1 and Type-2. I wanted perfection... perfection that doesn't exist (in the real world or the online world). I'm not going to lie, I still do want perfection. But I've come to the realization that perfection isn't necessarily what I think it is. The problem is, I still haven't figured out what it actually is.