It's not easy being green...

Kids, sometimes I feel like Kermit the Frog at the beginning of The Muppet Movie, sitting on a log, strumming my banjo, alone in the swamp wondering where life will take me next. As a side note, it's hard to believe that The Muppet Movie came out the year I was born... perhaps that's why I have such a strong connection with it.

As another year goes by, I feel stuck in a rut. I can't really think of much in the past year that was dramatically new or different than the year before. Though despite that all, I'm happy. I live a good life, have all that I need, but that's part of the problem. Nothing's motivating me to change things up.

I'm meeting some people, but obviously not finding the right people, or not looking in the right places. Unfortunately, it's not easy to figure out where the whole train is getting derailed. If I weren't so happy here, I've had fleeting thoughts of just picking up and moving and starting a new life somewhere else. Not that I would actually do it, but sometimes it's fun to think about doing something dramatic to make my life new and different again.

But in the meantime, a measured response would be simply make a stronger effort to mix things up and find something new. One of these days I'll get around to that. :)

What's the Hurry?

Kids, birthdays have never really meant much to me. When I ask why I should care about my birthday, most people tell me "because it's a day to celebrate that you're a year older!" My response is typically "everyday I celebrate that I'm a day older than I was was yesterday, so what's the big deal?" I didn't care about birthdays at all... and then I turned 30.

I definitely wasn't prepared for the shock of turning 30. My birthday itself was actually one of the most memorable ones I've ever had, due mostly to the fact that my friends made a big deal of it and completely bamboozled me by throwing me a surprise party that I had absolutely no clue about. Normally I hate surprises... but this one was actually one that I really needed and appreciated (as long as they never pull a stunt like that again :)).

Turning 30 is one of those milestones... a checkpoint in your lifetime where you can't help but evaluate where you are in your life compared to where you thought you would be. I always figured by the time I turned 30, I'd be well on my way towards living the dream -- owning a house, having a job, getting married, starting a family. I guess what hit me so hard is that I looked at my life, and realized that I'm no closer to finding that woman to spend the rest of my life with than I was when I was 25, and it really scared me.

I try not to spend too much of my time thinking about the future. I try to roll with the punches, and let things happen as they do. Unfortunately, there are some things that don't change much unless you actively make it happen.

But it's not as if my life is ending soon, or I really have an expiration date stamped on my heart. Truth be told, I have a great life. I'm financially stable, have a good job I love, have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and live my life in a positive and happy way. Just because I'm getting older, doesn't mean I need to be in a huge hurry to sort everything out.

But I do need to be aware of things. The only reasonably certainty is that if I don't do anything, nothing will happen. But patience is a virtue I do possess... though it's not always so easy. It's not the destination, it's the journey as well. What's the hurry? Enjoy the ride...