Groups
I'm involved with many groups, from recreational sports to other hobbies. These are good options a lot of the time. They say the best relationships start out as friendships, and I've found that to be absolutely the truth. I can't say I make close friends easily, but I make acquaintances easily and there are many people I call friends, though most I wouldn't call up at the drop of a hat to see what's up. My closest groups of friends and I are definitely a very tight-knit group who have been friends for many years, but those always have to start somewhere.
I've been involved in one of my activities for 5 years now, ironically getting involved with it not long after my last very serious relationship ended and I was looking for something new to get involved in and a place to spend my time. And I've made many good friends through that group. But as is all too often the case, this activity encompasses a wide age range, and one that not many eligible single girls get involved in on their own. (Though there are a lot of girls in my age range who participate, they tend to get involved along with their significant other / husband, which doesn't help me much. :)) But there are always new people getting involved, and keeping a keen eye open for someone new to meet is always a possibility.
Church
I'm the church-going type, though the non-judgmental type who doesn't limit his friends to other church-going folks, and as it has turned out I don't build my closest friends through church much. It's no surprise that many people meet their future somebody at church, I suspect partially attributable to the fact that people who go to the same church often share a similar belief and value basis. Unfortunately, I go to a small church, and doubly unfortunate that there are very few people who go to my church in my own age range. So while the possibilities are endless, they are pretty much non-existent there.
Religion in dating is something that could fill its own blog series (and it very well might at some point), but suffice it to say religious views are not ultimately high on my priority list when choosing somebody to date. My personal beliefs are that good people are good people regardless of what they believe, and I have no problem with what people believe. I have good friends who are atheists, though as long as they respect my beliefs, I can respect their right to have theirs. Though I have to admit, the bar is slightly higher for someone I'd date versus someone I'm friends with. I think I would have trouble dating someone who absolutely thought that what I believe is wrong, or that I'm somehow misguided for believing it. Similarly though, I have in fact had issues dating someone whose religious views are so ultra-conservative or contrary to my own, that it just wasn't going to feasibly work. I guess I've learned to take things on a case-by-case basis and not abandon hopes too soon.
Blind Dates
For the most part, online dating is nothing more than one blind date after another. It's not like you know the person you're going to meet. Though I want to talk about actual blind dates, where you are set-up by someone (usually a friend or relative) because they somehow think you two would be perfect together. It's the real-world equivalent of eHarmony where your date has been pre-screened by your friends.
Truth be told, blind dates have been probably some of the more successful ones I've had. One prominent blind date that comes to mind was with the best friend of the wife of one of the guys I was on aforementioned team activity with. There was a cleverly arranged group meeting first, where I met Amy for the first time. She was nice and definitely worth getting to know a bit better, and I gave an extra element of trust given that my friend who knew us both thought we'd be good together. I later gave her a call and we went out a few times. Oddly, there wasn't any one thing I could pinpoint as being wrong. There was a compounding of little things that made me abandon it though. First, and probably most inane of all, was the fact that she had the same name as one of my sisters. It's absurd, I know, but if you've ever dated someone with the same name as one of your siblings, it's just weird, okay? But that wasn't a deal breaker. I think what really threw me off that time was the age difference. I was 29 at the time and she was 36. Again, this wasn't a huge deal. I usually don't put much thought into age differences, but rather prefer to look at what stage in your life you're at, and in this case we were in very similar places. But still, the age difference was more apparent at times, and I can't say it wasn't a factor. At the time, I think I made up some excuse to myself about why it wasn't going to work and left it at that. The mind and heart have a great ability to rationalize that which you want to believe.
I don't regret any potential relationship I have given up on. Though I try not to regret anything I do in life, because good or bad they have all shaped who I am today. But I have to wonder at times whether I gave up too soon on some like that one.
I can't deny though that blind dates are probably some of the more successful ways of meeting new people, if they're arranged by people who actually know both people. I trust my friends very much not to lead me astray... they probably know better than most people what's best for me. Perhaps I should pursue them for suggestions more often.
Work
I know many people have met their future somebody at work, though I have always been very reluctant to pursue that route. I would make an exception if the case warranted, but I've always believed in the saying "never fish from the company pier." Especially in our society these days, you have to be very careful when dating in the workplace, and even more so in how you approach it. For better or worse, I've rarely been in a situation where there has been a lot of options within my workplace anyway, but I just tend to stay away from it.
So kids, that's where it's at. I'm not really starting from the beginning, and there are plenty more stories to tell for each of these. But I always like to remind myself that there are plenty of pools to fish in, each with a different school of fishies... who knows where my somebody is lurking.
No comments:
Post a Comment